My cat doesn't eat, or if she does she certainly likes to pretend that I am putting her through immense pain, based of my horrendus judgment of adequate cat food flavours.
Oh but don't get me started on cat food flavours. WHAT FRICKING CAT ACTUALLY CATCHES TUNA. ITS NOT NATURAL THAT THEY SHOULD EAT IT.
and what about other meats for that matter. surely cats should eat 'mouse' cat food. (or in my kitty's case 'grasshopper'...)
possibly they have some sort of communist type system, where if big cats like lions manage to kill and eat cows, then all other kinds of cats are entitled to the same food. OH MY GOD WHO KNOWS. IM TOO DRUNK TO BE THINKING ABOUT THESE THINGS.
goodnight.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
a thing i once wrote on myspace and thought was worthy of blogging. BLOGGING AS A VERB.
I just had a shower. (amazing, i know!)
Only this was no ordinary shower.
It was probably the craziest I've ever had.
I spose I should begin by explaining that my house is kind of old and falling down. So old, in fact, it has one of those showers over a bath. None of this classy, glass-cubicle stuff. Its shower curtainy fun-ness.
I'm used to this, as i've lived in this house with this old shower for as long as I can remember. Only tonight was different. Tonight, as I pulled back the curtain, I discovered AN INFESTATION....OF ANTS.
The whole freaking bath was covered in them. They were everywhere!
Now, as you may know, I'm terrified of bugs, so a bath-full of ants was just what i was looking for. Obviously, in my usual, rash manner. I grabbed my towel and ran out shouting "MUM!! THE BATH'S FULL OF ANTS!!"
My mum didn't care. She's great like that...
So i ran back to the lounge room shouting 'DAD!!! THE BATH'S FULL OF ANTS!!" this time i got a reaction.
My dad sprung to his feet, darting first to the bathroom, to survey the situation, then out again to find the bug spray. All the while i was standing in the corner, like your everyday damsel in distress, only wearing nothing but a towel...
The next thing i knew, he was back in the bathroom, walking John Wayne style with to cans of bug spray on his hips..."Bloody ants...think they can come into MY bathroom" he was muttering...Spraying left right and center...squashing and spraying and generally massacring them. (*sigh* my hero...)
Finally he determined it was safe for me to have a shower.
and now im clean.
how exciting.
Only this was no ordinary shower.
It was probably the craziest I've ever had.
I spose I should begin by explaining that my house is kind of old and falling down. So old, in fact, it has one of those showers over a bath. None of this classy, glass-cubicle stuff. Its shower curtainy fun-ness.
I'm used to this, as i've lived in this house with this old shower for as long as I can remember. Only tonight was different. Tonight, as I pulled back the curtain, I discovered AN INFESTATION....OF ANTS.
The whole freaking bath was covered in them. They were everywhere!
Now, as you may know, I'm terrified of bugs, so a bath-full of ants was just what i was looking for. Obviously, in my usual, rash manner. I grabbed my towel and ran out shouting "MUM!! THE BATH'S FULL OF ANTS!!"
My mum didn't care. She's great like that...
So i ran back to the lounge room shouting 'DAD!!! THE BATH'S FULL OF ANTS!!" this time i got a reaction.
My dad sprung to his feet, darting first to the bathroom, to survey the situation, then out again to find the bug spray. All the while i was standing in the corner, like your everyday damsel in distress, only wearing nothing but a towel...
The next thing i knew, he was back in the bathroom, walking John Wayne style with to cans of bug spray on his hips..."Bloody ants...think they can come into MY bathroom" he was muttering...Spraying left right and center...squashing and spraying and generally massacring them. (*sigh* my hero...)
Finally he determined it was safe for me to have a shower.
and now im clean.
how exciting.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
I want to be Dolly Parton
Sure Sarah, that's a legitimate career choice...
Two exciting things happened this weekend:
My mum referred to 'Stockholm Syndrome' as "Copenhagen Syndrome.'
It was almost as funny as the time she thought it was 1988.
&
I got chatted up by a guy on the train.
He said he could see that my halo was held up by devil horns.
Oh my god I am so incredibly bored I think I'm going to paint my ceiling.
Two exciting things happened this weekend:
My mum referred to 'Stockholm Syndrome' as "Copenhagen Syndrome.'
It was almost as funny as the time she thought it was 1988.
&
I got chatted up by a guy on the train.
He said he could see that my halo was held up by devil horns.
Oh my god I am so incredibly bored I think I'm going to paint my ceiling.
Post The First
There's something incredibly satisfying about making pirate noises.
And pretending to bite the invisible bird sitting on your shoulder.
I'm an arrrghtist.
And pretending to bite the invisible bird sitting on your shoulder.
I'm an arrrghtist.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)